Caring for your "Relationship Sandbox"
Over the next few days, I am going to be sharing some powerful insight that can subtly influence how we feel about our days and, ultimately, our lives.
Relationship Sandbox? What the heck am I talking about:
We are in a relationship with many things in our lives: a way of relating to and interacting with, the space between us and the world around us. Those relationships are in our control even though the other side of the relationship is likely not. Like the relationships we have with people – we have our part, history, needs, being and they have theirs and those things mix in the middle. The other side of many relationships is often filled with elements out of our control, something that certainly influences our experience.
Think of this space between as a sandbox and you might imagine how the state of a sandbox can change. A relationship is similar – sometimes we are engaging with the other side in a way that keeps the sandbox clean, clear, healthy, playful, mindful… Other times, the sandbox is where junk can get dumped; like emotions, baggage, misunderstandings. Or it is simply ignored and unused or appreciated maybe.
Why this is important:
This relationship impacts and creates how we feel about something, how we feel about ourselves involved with that something, how this part of our life interacts with others, on and on. These relationships impact one another, can serve our well-being or detract from it, and are a major part of how we experience our lives.
Our relationship sandboxes are always changing. The whole, “you’re either getting stronger or you’re getting weaker,” sort of thing. Either we are taking care of the sandbox, misusing it, or not involved, in which case the relationship is diminishing. Any of these options is acceptable, really, it just depends on what you actually need and how that choice reverberates in your life.
For example, I may be taking really good care of my relationship with rock climbing at the expense of other parts of my life, like my business or partnership. While that choice may produce some intended results in rock climbing, these other aspects of my life are interconnected. By the time the cycle gets all the way back to zero, as it were, those other parts of my life are in obvious need of tending.
Understanding, paying attention to, and curating these relationships is essential as these elements move up the ladder of importance (or interact with these priorities). If something is actually a priority, we start to give more of our finite time and energy to it, away from other “sandboxes.” Those other sandboxes, moved slightly or far down the ladder of importance, is part of the cyclical nature of our lives. It is rare that something remains on the very top rung forever. And determining how long to prioritize takes self-awareness and a large helping of radical honesty. For many of us, we have comfort zones of prioritization. It may be our sport, or work, or our lover; no matter what it is, over-tending one sandbox inevitably diminishes others that need your care.
What relationships in your life are being tended well? Which aren’t? How mindful are those choices of which to tend and which to shelf?
I’d love your feedback on the subject! Hit reply and let me know what you think!
Next, we’ll be looking closer at when to adjust a relationship that might need attention.
Love,
Blake