How to Praise with a Punch!

I’m pretty sure we have all received compliments like this in our lives…

“You’re so great!”

“You’re really good at that!”

“I loved the (presentation).”

“Nice work.”

What do all of these have in common?  They. Are. Vague!

All well-intentioned, vague praise misses a crucial opportunity - learning and growth.

That’s right.  Positive feedback has the powerful potential to help us learn about ourselves, our strengths, and possibly room to improve if we only ask.  With specificity, we can see clearly that our positive outcomes weren’t a fluke but outcomes of specific efforts and skill we demonstrated. It wasn’t something that might fade away, but a learned and practice ability. 

So, they next time a sincere and vague compliment is sent your way, ask for specifics.  What did I do well? Why did you like it? What worked well about this to you? And then thank them for the reflection, of course.

Give more positive feedback in the moment, too!  And of course, be specific. Next time you see someone demonstrate a character strength, name it.  See a job well done, offer them your take on why. 

You’ll both benefit from the positive emotional experience and practice in a more effective strategy for praise.

Thanks for reading along, dear one,

Blake

P.S. We all express appreciation a bit differently. Knowing the various ways to express appreciation and what resonates can be incredibly powerful in helping us connect.